For once, I am going to learn from my mistakes.

I am not going to let my feelings for a boy overtake the multitude of other things I have to focus on in life, no matter how nice he is and how much I care about him. I am not going to let things that matter slip because I’m moping about. I am not going to disappoint my future self, the way I am disappointed in my high school self for letting a boy get in the way of my grades.

I am going to put on a happy face until I fucking believe it, I am going to surround myself with people that have always loved me (as a wise friend told me to do), I am going to practice what I preach and look around me and feel grateful for my education and the fact that I have an incredibly large group of friends who are unbelievably loving and are willing to put up with listening to me whine for days and days without complaint. I’m fully aware how rare that is, and I’m going to put all my energy into loving them if I can’t love a boy.

I’m going to make sure that when I look back on my last semester ever of college, it’s going to be good memories, even if some days it was hard to be positive. I’m going to acknowledge that everything I did, I did for a reason, and I made no mistakes even though the consequences are a little hard to go through right now. I’m going to make a promise to myself that I will never repeat what I did in high school, and I am going to learn from my mistakes. I promise.

@1 month ago